You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
