I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
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Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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