My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
