Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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