Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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