Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
