I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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