Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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