Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
