put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
