you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
