If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
