I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000