Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i think im in europe. pls send help
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
