It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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