Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?