So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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