Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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