i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
