her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize