Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
