I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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