how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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