That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
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My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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