so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
