Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
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