Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
