I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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