Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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