1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
