At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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