Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
