I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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