Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
