I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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