season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
