mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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