Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
