I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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