belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
