I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
