It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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