wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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