It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
