People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my farts smell like vagina
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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