Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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