dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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