so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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