And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
