if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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