My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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