i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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