dude i'm inner monologue high
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
