If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize