..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
