it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
so much tequila, so little girl.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
