Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
