He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Girls should come with a carfax report
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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