Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize