She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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