we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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