My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
