I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
