I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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