i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
