don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
